just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
