What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
