Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
