It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
