Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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