Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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