I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
