You can't motorboat a personality
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
