I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
