quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
