i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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