Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
