she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
