Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
