that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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