he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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