i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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