i just had sex bonerless
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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