Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
