just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
