hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
