those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
