Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
