He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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