he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
