i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
