That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize