Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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