Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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