New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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