Where is the hickey?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
