Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
