god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
