She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
