In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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