im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
