So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
