Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
