I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
