At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
