you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
