In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize