she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
