Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
