a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
