In America we eat man semen.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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