Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
