the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can I color on your dick again?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
