okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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