um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
