i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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