You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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